2018 Is Your Year Of No

What should you do when the world asks too much? Learn to say no. Because doing so means saying yes to what’s truly important.

There’s a lot going on. All the damn time. No one can escape the demands because, well, that’s pretty much how the world works – it always asks too much. It requires we pay close attention and exert extra effort, that we love and give, and love and forgive…and the worst part? We’re all quick to deny that we’re not spread too thin just yet. So when we hit the breaking point, how can we deal? By learning to say no. Give yourself permission in 2018 to re-prioritize.

Click The Invisible Pause Button

Call your boss and tell them you’ll be working from home. Plan a weekend getaway with your girlfriends. Tell your significant other that you need space – and go claim that space without asking for approval. When the world asks for something, it often asks from many points. There is a pause button. It is invisible, but you can still use it. And it works like a charm.

Remind Yourself That You’re No Super Hero

Because you’re really not. Oftentimes we do things because we’re “supposed” to do them and we don’t even ask ourselves a) if we’re OK doing it and b) if we can actually manage it. Saying “no” is totally fine and it doesn’t mean you’re being lazy or choosy or unrealistic. In fact, saying “no” is being more realistic. Sometimes, there are things you just can’t do. There are schedules you have to postpone and people you can’t be with, even when they need you. Saying “no” to these things means saying “yes” to you.

Take My ‘Self-Care Ain’t Glamorous” Advice

When we search #selfcare on social media, we’re usually bombarded with bubble baths, outdoor escapades, beach photos, and the cliché pairing of hot chocolate and a cozy bed. Well, there’s also this philosophy I personally call ‘self-care ain’t glamorous’ and it’s practically my heaven. Sometimes, I’m not only too stressed out with work, I’m also too stressed with my own apartment. So, how in the world can I have that glamorous, 3-hour bubble bath? I can’t. This is when I choose a different road where I can be messy and creative and actually be with myself. Self-care, after all, is not about snapping a photo to get hundreds of likes.

Be Grateful for Your Choices (Because You Do Have Choices)

Oftentimes we’re stressed out because we allowed ourselves to get to that point. We attended all the meetings, said yes to the additional workload and never skipped the Sunday family dinner (this, too, can cause stress, you know). Every single day, you get to make hundreds of choices. So the next time you feel like there’s so much going on and you have no idea how to deal with it, take a look at your options. Be grateful that you have them. Cherry-pick the things that truly make you happy. Become more confident in your choices.

Give Yourself The Freedom You Deserve

Sometimes, the problem isn’t the not knowing when we’re spread too thin. The problem is when you don’t know how to deal with it. So, I highly suggest you simply set yourself free. Don’t be a slave to the demands of this world. Know that there is a fine line between adult responsibilities and unnecessary shit that masks itself as obligation.

Free yourself from thinking that it is your job to accommodate everything and everyone, and to be mentally and emotionally there for them. Because, really, that is not your job. Your job is to give yourself the freedom that you deserve. Stop asking whether you should take the week off, because even before you ask, you already know the answer. Pay attention, dear woman. Pay really close attention.

Part-poet, part-writer, and full-blooded human megaphone of the oppressed, Tammy Danan is a freelance writer. She is an introverted queer who gets by with unhealthy amounts of coffee, the sound of tattoo machines and the smell of a newly cleaned typewriter. And oh, she’s curious as hell about a lot of things. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
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