Editor’s Note: What I’m Leaving Behind
The universe is very clearly trying to tell me something.
One of my intentions for 2018 is to nurture my personal intuition. I definitely consider myself a religious person (it’s cool if you aren’t one) and I wholeheartedly believe in the power of prayer (it’s also cool if you don’t). I look to God for spiritual guidance. Religion helps keep my eyes, mind and heart open – it casts light onto a path that I otherwise may not see.
But what about all of the things I already do know? Personal truths, opportunities and decisions I know are right for me but get tamped down by everyday obstacles and responsibilities. That’s where my mission of developing personal intuition comes in. I’m diving deep into a variety of disciplines and trying it all. Tarot? Why not. Astrology? Sounds fun. Meditation? Sure, I’ll try it again (even though I know I’m horrible at it).
I’m trying it all so that I can narrow in on the one practice that helps me tap into my instinct. Because it’s my instinct that’s led me to make the smartest decisions of my life. It’s also my instinct that’s kept me safe in recent years. So, why wouldn’t I want to exercise that muscle some more?
Any way, there’s a point to all of this – I swear. Along this path, and across all disciplines, I’ve been faced with two very clear messages: I need to learn to rest. And I need to give up on some things. This, of course, is literally the hardest thing for me to do. Call it my Type A personality, call it my entrepreneurial spirit, call it my Sagittarius tendencies. Call it whatever you want. The truth is, I’m horrible at doing nothing. Even though I’m trying really, really hard to do it.
Considering the goals I’ve lined up for myself, this message seemed not just counter intuitive – it seemed damned impossible. Until this morning. This morning, while doing a final read through our January editorial line-up, I realized: Maybe the “thing” I’m supposed to give up this year is the personal guilt. The guilt I feel about having a work hard, play hard personality. The grief I give myself when I can’t just be still. The annoyance I feel when I turn what was supposed to be a “day of nothing” into a day of organizing or reading or writing.
I’ve wasted a lot of time and energy on feeling guilty about being who I am. Perhaps the “rest” I need is to give my mind a break from guilt…to just follow my instinct and do whatever I feel like doing in that moment.
When I first decided on this month’s theme of Doing Away With The Unnecessary And Focusing On Efficiency, my thought was to highlight efficiency in the literal sense; how to streamline your home, your work and your life with apps and systems. But what the message has developed into, it seems, is unburdening yourself in order to live a happier life…whatever that may look like to you.
I don’t know about you, but to me, that sounds a hell of a lot more useful in the grand scheme of things.