The One Friend We All Need
A “Believe Friend” knows that within you there’s treasure that can’t be measured or defined by anything external.
When I was a little girl, I had an imaginary friend named Stephanie. Stephanie was magical. She could be young like me when it was time for us to play Barbie, or grown-up when it was time to get into her imaginary car and drive around town. She had a pink house and long blonde hair. She was my girl. And while Stephanie and I have gone our separate ways in life, she taught me something at an early age: That we are wired for the type of connection found in friendship.
I learned that we’re not designed to be alone and that we all need friends. But not just any type of friend. We all need a certain type of friend. You don’t need all of your friends to be this type of person, but you need at least one of them to be like this. The one friend we all need is the “Believe Friend.” Now before I go into what a Believe Friend is, I want to share why this type of friend matters so much.
Life is full of unexpected highs and lows. We all go through seasons that push and pull at our hearts in ways we didn’t anticipate. We often get tossed around with the rushing waves of our circumstances, and despite our best efforts, we get knocked down more often than we’d like. And we also have highs that explode our hearts with joy and fill our veins with immeasurable fulfillment. We have moments that make such a lasting impression on us that we’re never quite the same, in a good way. Life is an experience filled with opportunities to lean on a Believe Friend, because a Believe Friend is the one to stand by you in all of those ever-changing seasons.
A Believe Friend is one who is willing to stay committed to whatever is true about you; despite what you may be feeling or experiencing. As a Christian, a Believe Friend for me is one who believes that I am who God says I am. But even if you’re not a Christian, you can have a Believe Friend. In any case, you can and need a Believe Friend who will not allow your circumstances, feelings, mistakes, setbacks or wins to define who you are.
Because a Believe Friend knows that within you there’s treasure that can’t be measured or defined by your to-do list or anything else external. We all need a Believe Friend, but better yet, we all need to be a Believe Friend.
So, what are the common characteristics of one?
Someone Who Is Honest, Even When It May Hurt
We all have a blind spot, and sometimes we make moves and decisions in our lives that are not in our best interest. Sometimes our friends can see us doing that. A Believe Friend can see it and is willing to risk your temporary discomfort around not wanting to hear what she has to say, in an effort to safeguard you from future preventable pain.
Someone Who Is Invested In Your Growth Over Your Comfort
Growth hurts. The related stretching and pulling on our hearts leaves us craving comfort. But if we ever want to reach new levels and live the life that we’re called to live, then we’re going to have to open ourselves up to healthy discomfort. A Believe Friend knows this and supports your growth process. She will encourage you and remind you that the evolution is worth the challenge.
Someone Who Will Listen To And Affirm You, But Also Call You Out On Your Stuff
Sometimes you need someone to listen to the ranting sessions, but when it’s over, you need that person to hold you accountable to your work, too. A Believe Friend isn’t a “yes friend.” She is someone who is willing to be gentle with your heart, but firm with holding you responsible to growing into the person you’re called to be.
Someone Who Believes In You, Even When You Don’t
There will be days when you’ll be sad, discouraged, frustrated and ready to quit. But a Believe Friend will remind you that you’re not finished yet and there’s still so much greatness within you.
Someone You Can’t Believe You’re Blessed Enough To Have In Your Life
A Believe Friend will fill your heart with gratitude, if you allow it, when you think of how fortunate you are to have her in your life. When you think about how much she means to you, you can’t help but feel blessed. Because you truly are.
A Believe Friend isn’t someone who’s perfect, or even who knows everything there is to know about you. This isn’t someone who will never upset or disappointment you. This isn’t someone you’ll always agree with, and it’s not someone who’s untouchable enough to not need a Believe Friend of their own. Instead, a Believe Friend is a real person, just like you, who needs true, honest and meaningful relationships to help her be all that she’s called to be.
Monique Melton is a believer, wife, and mother of two. She’s a published author, international speaker and relationship coach. Her work is central to loving God and loving people, and encouraging others to do the same. She offers coaching, tools and resources to support women and couples in living their best life. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram.